If Boris were a London hotel…

Boris opening the refurbished Langham London last year...but is this really the hotel he'd be?

We’ll get to the hotel connection later…but London visitors may initially be a bit curious about our fascination with the London Mayor.  He’s been in the news recently due to the introduction of the new London bike scheme.

I nearly got mowed down by a ‘Boris bike’ the other day – one of the new rental bikes that have revolutionised the London streetscape.  They’re supposed to be “Barclays rental bikes” but have inevitably been popularly renamed ‘Boris bikes’ after the Mayor.  So typical of him to steal the show!

I can’t quite imagine a ‘Bloomberg bike’ in New York or a ‘Veltroni velocipede’ in Rome… What is it about Boris that makes him so memorable?

Boris looking like he's about to make off with someone's bike! (Image credit below)

• The hair!  Boris is a guy who is always having a bad hair day, with that startlingly blonde, totally unruly hair that won’t lie down.  I know it’s trivial, but when you look at all the other politicos with their slicked-down hair or bald pates, Boris stands out by a mile!

• The clownish style.  Boris always looks a bit out of his depth, even when actually saying something clever.  Those of us who have just had a bit too much of ‘visionary’ bosses, mission statements, and ideals that never quite match up to reality, rather warm to Boris because he has none of that spin-doctored smoothness (a bit like the hair really!).

• The bicycle.  Cycling Boris nearly got killed by a truck a while back – it’s actually on Youtube – and unlike some politicians who like to be seen on a bike once a year, he really does seem to enjoy getting on two wheels.

• He’s “independent” from the official Tory party.  Not perhaps as much as previous mayor Ken Livingstone vs. the Labour party, but Boris is a free spirit (some would say a loose cannon!) more than a party hack.

But is it all spin?  The Green Party might argue that though he loves his bike, he’s often been car-friendly in his decisions (for instance he pulled back from imposing a higher congestion charge for bigger cars).

And I’m pretty sure Boris has worked out that the clownish, maverick image does him a lot of favours, as people seem ready to cut him a large amount of slack.  He’s actually an intelligent bloke – though he does seem prone to the most marvellous gaffes, like mistaking rugby and football, or turning to one of his aides and asking him ‘What’s my policy on drugs?’

I suspect Londoners want a mayor who is a bit of a character.  His predecessor Ken Livingstone famously kept newts and rejoiced in the monicker of ‘Red Ken’ (like Boris, who is just ‘Boris’, Ken was just ‘Ken’ – on first name terms with the metropolis).  We seem to like quirky mayors!

While in almost every other way Boris couldn’t be more different, his larger-than-life character and independent spirit appeal in just the same way.  And Londoners wait with baited breath to see what he’ll get up to next.

Let’s now get to the crux of the matter.  If Boris were mutated into just one out of many hundreds of London hotels, which one would he be?

Boris is far too posh to be a Travelodge - though he appreciated the fact that their new Waterloo hotel which he recently opened has a bike available for guests to borrow

Well, he’s certainly far too posh to be a budget hotel, even though he personally opened London’s newest Travelodge in Waterloo (the fast-growing company‘s 400th cheap hotel) just a few weeks ago.

At the other end of the spectrum, Boris was also responsible for inaugurating the luxurious Langham after its refurbishment, a hotel with pedigree that you’d expect him to appreciate.  And it officially has the finest afternoon tea in London, which you’d imagine he’d enjoy scoffing down.

But if Boris were a hotel, I don’t think he’d be the Langham – his appeal seems to cross the social divide and you’ll find as many London cabbies (always a good yardstick) in his camp as vehemently against him.

No, my verdict for the ultimate Boris hotel would be the slightly chaotic Millers Residence in Notting Hill – a place we’ve mentioned before due to its proximity to London’s best Lebanese restaurant.  Unfortunately it’s currently closed until early 2011 for major refurbishments…

Millers Residence is slightly chaotic, unarranged but comfortable...a bit like Boris!

As the picture shows pre-renovation, it’s a hotel with a cluttered and slightly dotty style, but with an odd warmth too.  Not unlike our Mayor…

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Photo credits: Miller’s Residence, Langham Hotel (Langham Hotels International), Travelodge Westminster, internets_dairy’s photostream.

Tagged as: Langham Hotel, Miller's Residence, Travelodge